Here's the latest news and info, updated when we feel like it.

01/25/01- We moved this site to its new home at Mediahostage.com.  We aren't a band anymore, but everyone really liked this site so we decided to move it to our designer's server and keep it up.  Who knows?  We may even play some more shows together soon...  Check out Wetback and the Turd's new band ???, Sham's new group Hiatus, and Nak-Nak's acoustic performances at pro-choice rallies.

03/25/00- Uhhh...We aren't a band anymore.....  We all hate each other.

01/18/00- Well, so much for the benefit show we were supposed to play.  It was cancelled at the last minute because it turns out that the Battery Bar didn't even open yet.  Theoretically, we'll be playing there whenever they DO open.  The good news is however, that we finally got reviewed in Creative Loafing.  The best part is that they gave us a GOOD review!!  At least we think so.....it was sort of hard to understand...

01/11/00- It's official:  Y2K meant absolutely fucking nothing.  Right...  We've been taking time off for the holidays, and we're excited about getting back into things.  Well, at least Nak-Nak, Sham, and I (the Turd) are ready to go.  As for Wetback, he's expressed more than a little dissatisfaction lately.  He is planning on auditioning for another, higher-profile band soon, so lord Satan only knows what will come of all that.  And Captain Pudwhack would rather bang his girlfriend and sleep than rock, permitting us to practice 1 out of the 8 times we were supposed to in December.   But fear not, for the LPT will keep tearing new assholes no matter what!  Lots of new things on the site here, like Mp3's (hopefully) and new show dates.  We were supposed to do an interview on the Metal Show on WRAS 88.5 on Monday Jan. 10, but that fell through at the last minute.  Fortunately DJ Corpselicker was cool about it and played one of our tunes and talked us up a bit on air.  We're looking forward to doing a live performance on air in the near future.  We'll keep you updated!

12/12/99- Yeah, it's been a while since I updated this site.  You know....Thanksgiving and all that crap kept us busy.  Well, we played another free pass show at the Masquerade on the 9th.  This show was more fun than the last one, as well as being more organized.  Unfortunately all the colleges in town were having finals on the 8th, 9th, and 10th, so not many people could make it out.  In addition, the opening band this time sucked almost as bad as the last one.  The only difference was that these guys were just sad, whereas the last band was laughably sad.  This show was definitely rougher, though.  Some girls threw panties at us (which we promptly put on) and a buddy of ours brought these two raver chicks up from downstairs to dance on stage with us.  These chicks just ran out on stage and started cutting a rug as best they could considering the amount of mind-altering drugs they had undoubtedly consumed earlier.  Rippin'.  We're currently booking more shows, so watch the news page for updates!

11/16/99- Finally, we have lots of new pictures and updates for you, as well as a few format changes.  Well, our first ever show at the Masquerade here in Atlanta on 11/11 went fantastic and nothing got destroyed!  Well actually, Nak-Nak got a little rowdy on stage and knocked over a monitor speaker during our set.  Fortunately, the sound guys were cool about it.  I (the Turd) however, became more than a little irritated when my guitar cable was repeatedly yanked from my amp by Captain Pudwhack and Nak-Nak.  But aside from that and the fact that not a one of us could get a good monitor mix, everything went great.  Lots of people showed up, and we didn't get kicked out.  The band that played before LPT was 50 Year Storm, which is Captain Pudwhack's and Wetback's other band.  They played great as well, and both bands will very likely be booked there again soon.  The band that played first (Dreadnot) was honestly the sorriest collection of ding-dongs I've seen since MC Hammer's posse did a Taco Bell commercial.  When we first met them, they seemed alright; they said they played metal and so naturally we liked them.  But then their look-at-me-I'm-a-big-'ol-shitbag singer showed up.  Even though we were technically the "headliners," Dreadnot just mosied on up the steps backstage to the "headliner" dressing room and locked themselves away.  We honestly didn't give two shits about it, for we'd rather have one of the downstairs dressing rooms anyway; they're closer to the stage and the bar.  But little did we know the metamorphosis that was taking place up those steps in that room.  When Dreadnot went in, their singer was dressed in jeans, a t-shirt, and a jogging jacket, and he had his long hair pulled back in a pony tail.  When he emerged an hour or so later however, the centuries-old god of cheese rock had taken over his body!!  He was wearing tight leather pants (we're talking Vince Neil-style here), lace-up high-heeled leather boots that went up to his knees, and a sparkly button-up collared shirt (unbuttoned, of course).  He began thrashing around the stage flinging his hair around like mad, and all the while flashing winks and smiles at the two sleaze-bag metal chicks in the front row.  I say "front" as if there was one behind it or something....  Also, I have never seen more overweight metal chicks in one place as I did that night.  I guess they are all so depressed over Cinderella breaking up that they just ate themselves out of the early eighties......  More soon....

11/14/99- Our show  in Valdosta was cancelled last-minute when the venue was audited....hmmmm.  More on the Masquerade show soon...

11/05/99- Well, we would really like to thank those 12 people who actually hung around to see us play at the Lunch Paper on the 2nd.  So what if the people who worked there were more into us than the audience??  Of course, if things had been handled better by the club as well as by the other bands, then maybe we would have gotten to play before 1 AM.  So much for benefiting from being the "headliners."  Blah blah.  We played fine, but got pretty bored after about 6 songs.  We started packing up early, but one of the bartenders screamed for another song.  So we played another song.  Then we loaded all our gear into the van in the freezing cold, and drove an hour home.

10/10/99-  LPT just ripped R.E.M.-land a new turdcutter.  We played at the High Hat on the 5th, and Athens will never (i mean always) be the same.  We arrived at the club around 9 pm to set up and (in true LPT fashion) nobody was there.  The club was closed.  At 9 pm.  Wow.  So, we went downstairs to this crappy little bar called the Ratskellar for a beer while we waited for someone to show up.  Nak-Nak yakked the bartender's head off in his drunken stupor for about 45 minutes before the sound guy showed up upstairs to let us in.  Blah blah blah.  We watched the opening bands (both of whom fucking ripped), drank a lot of free beer, and then it was our turn..  The show went surprisingly well, and everyone had a tizzi-tight time....until the end....That's when Nak-Nak and Captain Pudwhack got into an argument onstage.  In front of everyone.......  Recipe for Disaster:  Stir in 45 min loud rock, 2 extreme personalities, 2 cups retarded horse shit, 6 pitchers of beer.  Serve hot, serves 5.  May cause headaches after consumption.  Its all worked out though, and LPT rips on.

10/04/99-  We have our new stickers and t-shirts done, and they will be available at our shows along with our CDs starting on 10/05.

10/01/99-  Well, we have begun our next batch of tour dates, and its off with a bang.  uhh...anyway...  The Charleston show on Sept. 24th was a treat beyond words.  Shit hit the fan, and it ripped!  In true LPT fashion, everything that could possibly go wrong DID, and that's just the way we like it.  We arrived at the club (really more of a stinky bar) only to learn that they had NO SOUND SYSTEM.  So, we ran the vocals through the bass amp, and viola!  It sounded like ASS.  Anyhoo, the show ripped on as people went fucking nuts and some girls lit napkins of fire and threw them (whoever you were, that shit ruled).  Then some stinky hippie bartender chick got all Boo-Hoo about our show.  Then Nak-Nak apologized for us not knowing any Phish cover songs.  Then the hippie gave him a poo-poo look.  Then he said something vulgar about hippies.  Then she called the club owner.  Then he got there.  Then he said "Leave."  Then we said "We want our money."  The hippie sprayed patchouli oil in Nak-Nak's eyes.  Not really.  Nak-Nak said, "Don't make me angry, hippie.  You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."  She cried like a little girl until we got kicked out.  Then Sham said, "Does this mean the show next weekend is off?"  Then the owner said "Bet your ass, bub."  We got kicked out of our own show.  Nobody got a chance to buy our CDs.  Unless you want to count the 3 CDs that Nak-Nak left on top of the van when we drove off.  Rock and fucking roll.       

09/25/99-  Our CD is all done and ready to go.  The CD has 5 songs, and comes creatively packaged with custom doodling and propaganda.  You can buy these at our shows.

09/20/99-  We are starting fresh here, people.  We recorded a CD a few months ago, and have since replaced that old poop-bag drummer Jay Murphy with a mexican straight off the raft.  Wetback has fattened our sound, and he coincidentally gives good head as well.  Also, we added the Turd for samples, noises, and guitar.  We introduced the new lineup at the Tabernacle in Atlanta on Sept. 9, and we all worshipped satan.  Except for the Christian rock band that opened for us.....they said we needed help.  Anyhoo, all is going well and we should have our 5-song EP ready in a few days, as well as some new stickers and T-shirts.  You can buy this crap at our shows, and eventually through our website.